The One-Legged man
How a Dave Attell Standup Bit Became the Perfect Allegory for my life as a Crisis Advocate and Coach.
As far as I’m concerned, stand-up comedian Dave Attell is one of the funniest people alive today. Hosting him at a comedy festival my wife and I produced many lifetimes ago was nothing short of a dream come true. Although I spent only a little time with him, I was struck by how different he was in person—serious, sober, chain-smoking, and always deep in thought. I had expected the man I saw on stage, but instead, I met a quiet, thoughtful gentleman—a true Mensch whom I’ve always admired for his mastery of storytelling, making the absurd both accessible and hilarious.
My little “meeting your idol” story illustrates something profound for me: we are all funny in our own ways while being smart and tortured at the same time. One doesn’t have to be a stand-up comedian or the class clown to be funny. If your version of funny is making a baby giggle until it farts, then you have every right to claim the mantle of funny, just like Dave Attell. Or, if you’re the only person in the office who can make the most serious boss crack a smile, that’s your version of funny. It’s this mixture of humor, intellect, and struggle that makes us who we are—smart, funny, and tortured.
One of Attell’s classic bits, from his 2003 album Skanks for the Memories, has stuck with me for years. In the bit, Attell sets the scene at a bus station, where a man with just one tooth approaches him and offers help. Attell, with his sharp and irreverent humor, notes that "if I need directions, I'm not asking a man with one tooth, I'm asking a man with one leg, because he definitely knows the easiest way to get there."
He continues, "Yup, if there's a shortcut, that one-legged fucker knows where it is. You won't be hopping fences either."
This punchline encapsulates Attell's ability to find humor in life's absurdities, but it also highlights a deeper truth: those who have faced adversity often know the most efficient paths through life's challenges. It was only recently that I realized how perfect this joke is as an allegory for what we truly seek in life. If you want to know the quickest way to get somewhere, you ask the guy with one leg. Why? Because he’s been around or has lost his leg due to a past mistake—lesson learned. He’s navigated life with a disadvantage that forced him to figure out the most efficient paths, the ways that avoid obstacles others might not even think about, like fences. There’s understated wisdom here—the person society might see as hobbled or disadvantaged is actually the one with the most practical knowledge.
In many ways, this is the exact kind of wisdom that coaches or crisis advocates offer. Often, these individuals have faced their own significant challenges—whether personal, emotional, or professional—that may have left them metaphorically "hobbled" in some eyes. But it’s precisely those hardships that have made them wiser, grittier, and more resourceful. Like the man with one leg in Attell's joke, these coaches have learned to avoid unnecessary obstacles, offering their clients or mentees the quickest and most effective route to where they want to go.
Attell’s joke goes on to describe the one-legged man further: "He always looks like he’s come a long way to tell you something really important… 'It’s slippery outside—trust me, I only got one leg. Now turn me: East!' That guy's got information."
This absurd and raucous bit perfectly illustrates how experience brings wisdom. The man with one leg knows things that someone with fewer struggles might overlook—because he’s lived through it. Dave Attell’s joke is profound because it reminds us not to dismiss someone based on their perceived limitations. Those who have faced the greatest challenges—who have metaphorically lost a limb—are often the ones with the deepest insights. They know the shortcuts, the hidden traps, and, most importantly, how to get you to your destination without “hopping fences.”
In life, the wisdom gained from overcoming obstacles is what enables us to help others. Whether you're a coach guiding someone through a career crisis or a friend offering advice, your struggles aren’t a hindrance—they are the very thing that gives you the clarity to lead others through theirs.
So, the next time you need direction, take Dave Attell’s wisdom to heart. Ask the one who’s been through it. Ask the person who knows the quickest way—and won’t let you hop any fences.
